When the (Latter-Day) Saints Go Marching In...

It's time for another thrilling installment of... Aaron Dominates the USA!! I hope you're finding it thrilling anyway... and if not... well, i don't know what i can do. The smut and innuendo quotas are already pretty full (though i'll jam in some more - gotta really stuff that gap full haven't i?? Ha!), along with the subtle jokes and attempted humour! Also found out that i'm getting new readers (which is AWESOME), although you're a bit late... but i'll forgive you, probably. If you're new to my fantastic views on the US, then scroll ALL the way down and start at the beginning. I promise it's worth it! Though you best set aside a little while! Anyway, let's get this party on the road and catch up on what's been goin' down since i last posted!

I'm currently holed up in Salt Lake City in Utah, awaiting my flight tomorrow to Chicago (Illinois) - a good few thousand miles East of here. Why am i taking the plane i can hear you asking... well... the Greyhound would only take a quick 37 hours, so i think i'll pass and fly there in 3. Seriously, if you haven't taken a long distance ride on the US Greyhound you have NO idea how hellacious that'd be! But before i start telling you about the present or even the future, let's go ''Back To The Past'' (not quite as catchy a film title, but it'll do.)

I left you up in Yellowstone after my day of wildlife spotting with the most mentally unbalanced guide in the world. I remembered a rhyme she kept singing all day - ''Heather Holly is my name, touring touring is my game'' - that wears VERY thin even after the first time you hear it. I couldn't even fake it with her (a laugh i mean)... goddam that was a tough journey! Anyway, the next day i headed out with a DIFFERENT guide, called Brad, who was actually awesome and a total legend. He was a bit of a biology geek though all rugged too. I dare say you girls would swoon at him, as he's got that whole 'smart but really physical' thing goin on. I just thought he was cool.

So, this tour was focused on the world famous geysers that are all around Yellowstone in what's known as the 'Lower Loop' - the one y'all will know is Old Faithful, i'm sure, but i know of quite a few others from a course i took at Uni back in year 3 (i don't think any of you other bio folks took it did you??), so it was pretty sweet to see all these textbook images close up! Also saw a hell of a lot of wildlife - some of which i didn't see the day previously - namely BLACK BEARS, elk and bald eagles (i know that i slate birds (of the feathered kind) loads, but a bald eagle's a bit special as it's so rare - got some AMAZING pics of one!).

Anyway, the thermal stuff. I gotta say this, but Old Faithful was a bit of an anti-climax: another case of the yanks thinking something is WAY more spectacular than it actually is. It's basically just a hole in the ground that sprays water 100 foot in the air. It's literally JUST a hole. When you compare this to the other geysers in the park (look up Castle Geyser) it looks so weak! At least the other geysers look a bit spectacular!

Also saw a load of hot springs, which are the things i really wanted to see as the colours in them are so awe-inspiring. One in particular, humourously called Morning Glory Spring (if you don't know why that's funny then you're probably too old ;-) ), was breath-taking, with the pool changing in colour from a rich royal blue, through green, yellow, orange and red - all in a pool about 20m across! I won't go too geeky, as there's definitely potential for me to do so, but the colours are triggered by millions of bacteria that are able to survive at temperatures WAY above what'd kill us (try 100 degree C and above!).

I thought i'd lay down my credentials again - just dropping in that i'm a Bio Masters Graduate - again, it went down a storm! Brad knew all about that stuff too, so we chatted away about the thermals and wildlife. Yes, it was geeky, but it was also cool to talk to someone on the level about all that.

Basically, there's no way that my words can capture what i saw in Yellowstone, on either day, as it was all way too visually stimulating to be able to write down here. Lucky for you i've taken LOADS of photos in the park, as well as about 700+ overall, so there's plenty to stare at when i'm back (as well as my unruly hair which is getting too long to mess-up-spike as usual!) - i am shaving though, so i don't look totally like a hobo, nor do i smell like one... i don't think.

I spent last night up at the bear refuge, in the rain, at temperatures below 8oC - in shorts again, just standing there watching the grizzlies and you know what? I felt pretty emotional. Not because of how amazing it was to be so close to these animals, but because i was truly sad to be leaving Yellowstone, much like i was sad to leave Alaska and New Orleans. It was pretty cool to just stand there and see this huge 700lb+ grizzly sitting like a teddy bear (on its arse) just staring at me as i looked back at it - i connected with the beast! I stayed until my vision was at failing level and went home a bit despondent to pack my bags. Sad times.

Oh, forgot to mention how a girl that worked at the place i booked my first tour (with the eccentric tour guide) came and found me out! She walked over a mile 'to bring me a CD of pictures' - yea, right! We all know why she came don't we?? She wanted to come see the Az-meister for some good times! Honestly, anything i said, she found hilarious - pretty much there for the taking! I mean, i AM pretty damn funny (and REALLY modest ;-) ) but she was hanging off my every word - a perfect opportunity to improve Anglo-US relations yes? Unfortunately for her, i was typing up that last blog at the time, and me being SO dedicated to you guys means that my attention was focused elsewhere. I hope y'all appreciate the sacrifices i make for you!

Anyway, i left Yellowstone this morning and travelled for 8 hours to reach where i am now - Salt Lake City, home of the mormons (or the Church of Latter-Day Saints as i think they prefer to be known!). I'm not really into exploring here, as it's literally only a stop of convenience so that i'm ready for my flight tomorrow. It's a lot like a 10 to 2 girl you'd meet back home. You only get with her either because a) there are no other options, b) you're just too damn frisky to go home alone, or c) you need a place to sleep for the night (ahhh, Ayia Napa... memories right Dave? Haha). Plus, there's nothing here that i really want to see... hell, i don't even think there's anything here besides the temple! Speaking of which, that thing is impressive. Most US churches look like a bungalow you'd see in Nuneaton with a cross bolted on the front. This church / temple though looked like ours - huge gothic spires, so it looked pretty European! Impressive for the yanks! However, since getting into Salt Lake i've noticed myself saying 'oh Jesus Christ', 'goddam' and loads of other blasphemies (as well as lots of fruity language). I'm not overtly religious (in the fact that i don't follow a certain religion) but i was still pretty conscious of the fact... and it made me laugh a bit when i realised. Luckily i didn't shout it all out loud or no doubt they'd chase me out of town with pitch-forks (naturally they're all backwards here haha).

I'll talk more about the hostel i'm in when i update you from Chicago, as prying eyes may read what i write, which isn't cool.

So, what lies ahead? Well, i'm off on a flight at midday tomorrow bound for Midway Airport in Chicago, which should be amazing. I've not seen a big city in a while now, so it'll be pretty cool to be in one again. I don't think it'll quite compare to the natural stuff i've seen, but it'll still be pretty ace all the same. Lots of things to see and do! And luckily no Greyhound involved. Only one of those bad boys left - 17 hours between Chicago and New York, then i'm DONE with them. Hurrah!!

Anyway, i'll leave you for now. Hopefully i'll have loads of things to update you on next time. I'm sure i will. If not, then i'll make it all up ;-)

Speak soon,

Aaron! x