The Great North American Adventure!!!

My Last Serenade: A Bittersweet Symphony

2008-09-11T04:37:00.000-07:00

Hey there folks!!

I gotta say, it's pretty odd writing this from the warmth of my own house! Yes, i'm now back in the UK and (almost) entirely jetlag free! Is it 'odd' in a good way or bad way to be back home?? A bit of both to be honest... as i'm sure you could guess! I like being home to see my friends and family again, but i really do miss everything about the US (except for Salt Lake City... naturally) - from its people to its sights... just... wow.

So why am i writing this when i'm back home? Simply because every good story (and this is an AMAZING story, as i'm sure you'll agree!) deserves a good ending - which this will be! I'm writing this purely to recap over what i've done and discuss in a Big Brother-esque way "what i've learned". Consequently it was refreshing to spend a summer free of BB - who won it by the way?? More importantly... does anyone even care anymore? Thought not. This will be my catharsis for dealing with my return to reality.

So... what were the highlights of my trip? As i mentioned in an earlier post - it depends upon what i'm looking for! Geographically, for hedonism it's New Orleans and Las Vegas - just because it's all out chaos and oodles of fun! However, if you're talking about raw beauty you're not going to beat Alaska and Yellowstone - ever. Sure, the Amazon can give you a load of trees, but do you get glaciers and geysers? No, and you never will (nor will you have trees if we keep logging them by the way!)

The people i've met along the way (Sarah, Louise, Sarah, Alex, Brooke, Olof, David, Allan, Mike, Brianne, Vanessa, Amy, Cassie and countless others whose names elude me at the minute!) - they're all awesome, and i'll be doing my best to keep in touch with y'all regardless of whether you're living in Georgia or Sunderland! I'm sure i'll run into you again at some point in the future!

A question i've been asked now that i've got back is whether i learnt anything whilst being over in the US for the better part of 2 months, and the answer is yes. I didn't need to venture into the Himalayas to meditate for a week to learn stuff, or trek into an isolated jungle. I learnt a lot about the US and their society - particularly how much they ADORE their country and how much we should love ours too. You don't appreciate so many things over here - the NHS being one huge institution. Everyone bemoans it at the first opportunity - but imagine it not being there, as in the US - paying £80 to go and SEE your GP. Not cool is it? You do that for free (yes i know about NI contributions, but it's not £80 a pop!), whilst US folks have to pay! Next time you go into A&E (as i did in the US!) remember that ok?

Here's the pressing question - did i learn anything about myself over there? Well... yes actually. That i can't stand Greyhounds - ha! I jest, although they were particularly brutal at times! On a serious note I've always thought that i'm quite happy in my own company, being a single child 'n' all. But this trip has taught me that i really am a social vampire - i need people to feed off! Hell, i need some outlet for the seemingly limitless stream of words that pour out of my mouth! It seems i'm never happier than when chatting to someone! This is perhaps why Hollywood was so cool for me: having all those folks in the hostel to chat to and have a laugh with. To flip that around, Texas was possibly the loneliest time ever, as my motels were in the middle of nowhere with few guests to talk to. That, coupled with my mystery illness, made for a pretty crappy time, which thankfully wasn't to last!

I've also had it re-affirmed that i'm not a shy kid anymore (i'm sure quite a few of my post-school mates are laughing at that, as they know that to be true - i'm the extroverted one saying outrageous comments), which i was at school - i'll talk to anyone, regardless of how mentally unbalanced you are / look! Unless you're talking about salting the ground of Europe or throwing scriptures at me... you're going over my head then! Oh, and if you snore - never, EVER, sleep near me ok?? I can't be held accountable for my actions!

A quick numerical recap:

Number of Miles travelled within the USA: 13,875
Number of States visited: 27
Number of Countries visited: 2
Number of Greyhound buses taken: 15
Number of Snorers encountered: 6
Number of Nights with no sleep: 6 (+ Greyhounds)
Number of Hurricanes encountered: 2
Number of Days without wearing shorts: 0
Number of Toes severed: 1
Number of Hands of Poker won: 0
Number of Animal Species eaten: 14
Number of Times hassled by pimps in Mexico: 8
Number of Attractive Girls Encountered: ∞ (infinite)
Number of Amazing things i've seen: limitless

I really do urge everyone NOT to overlook the US as a place to travel, it really is an amazing country that i've defiinitely fallen for. Whether it's New York or New Orleans - it's an awesome place that really does merit a visit or 15!

I guess that's it then. Being back home really is a bittersweet experience... but if nothing else, this journey has given me a taste for exploring and travelling! So where to next? Well, i'm pretty sure that for my next expedition that i want to travel to Iceland and Greenland - a bit of coldness never hurt anyone... except for those that die of hypothermia... and everything that went extinct in the Ice Age...

So that really is it folks... until that next blog, that may be a couple of years off yet! No more reading for you 'til then! Unless you want to read a book - but what's the point? They'll make a film of it eventually, so wait until then...

... who knows... you might see this as a film one day... definitely... maybe... definitely maybe...

Take care folks, and i'll literally talk to you in person soon!

Aaron! x

Off Broadway...

2008-09-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

Bet you didn't think / hope you'd hear from me so soon again did you?! Well, your luck's come in it'd seem, as i thought i'd drop you a QUICK little note in my last few hours in the USA!

Naturally, i'm still in NYC, and fly home to lame ol' England in a little over 10 hours, which quite frankly, sucks. But i won't dwell on the future - i'll fill you in on the past 24 hours! What have i done?? WALKED. A little over 15 miles is a good guess! Had a good sprint around the last few sights that i really wanted to see, namely Grand Central Station and the Chrysler Building. The latter of which was sooo awesome to look at (it's in the Spiderman movies folks - the big tower that looks reeeal fancy, you know which i mean? Looks gold at the top? ).

Also managed to do some shopping - went to all the places that NYC is famous for, like Bloomingdales. Have to say, that place is SO pretentious it makes Selfridges look like Poundland. I found a shirt that was on sale at $250 - that's IN the sale! I dread to think what it was before! All the clothes seemed really staid and dull too - i guess the richer you get, the more your taste falls to the level of a blind leper. Saying all that - i can't wait to have enough money to waste it on elaborate shirts and accessories. That day'll come folks... it will!

I also treked upto Strawberry Fields and the Dakota Building, where John Lennon was famously shot. The actual SF site is a pretty nice mosaic laid out in the pavement - complete with homeless dude who's taken it upon himself to clean the memorial of all leaves that fall of the tree. I don't know whether he expected to be paid for this duty, but he was VERY protective of that pavement, bless him!

Apres ca, i went for dinner in 'The View' restaurant, which is basically a restaurant about 50 stories up that revolves, giving you amazing views of the NY skyline at night. However, upon sitting down, i quickly felt ill, namely because i didn't have a clue what was spinning and which way we were going. It also turns out that your seat spins away from you when you go to get food - so i ended up getting lost many a time, whilst feeling sick... 50 stories in the air. An experience nevertheless!

Finally, i headed out on a night-time bus tour around NYC, which took us over the Manhattan Bridge to Brooklyn so that we could see all of NY across the Hudson River - and i've got to say, the view was breath-taking. What was particularly poignant was the two columns of light going insanely high into the night sky to represent where the twin towers stood. It really brings it home to you to see those columns of light, and it's also a beautiful sight that i'll store deep in my mind for a long, long time - as i will many of the things i've seen this trip!

After the trip, i left my mum to go back to the hotel whilst i wandered New York at night exactly as i'd begun my trip - on my own. I walked around reflecting upon the whole journey and just absorbed the atmosphere... as well as noticing all the hotties that scurry around the NY streets at night (no post would be complete without a mention of ladies would it? Hell no!). It's such a beautiful city, and the fact that i've only scratched the surface means that i've got to come back in the not too distant future to see a little bit more.

So... i guess that's it, the North American trip is almost at its end. It's been emotional, but i won't gush about it right now - that'll come in the final post i make when i'm home (due to the fact that i have about a minute left on this PC!)

So until my next, and final post...

Speak soon,

Aaron! x

An Englishman In New York... Again...

2008-09-08T06:35:00.000-07:00

Ello there folks!! It's been a while hasn't it?? I apologise for that, though i have two very good reasons... 1) New York is just TOO ace, and i've got way too much to cram in before i fly back home and... 2) Finding an internet kiosk here is a lot like finding a virgin aged over 14 in Coventry, aka, nigh-on impossible!

Nevertheless, New York is, suffice to say, awesome. Loads of hustle and bustle and i've done quite a bit, so be prepared for an enormo-blog post here - just warning you so that you can get a cuppa or some munch for the journey ahead. Ready? Ok, let's go.

Well, i left you in Chicago with me dreading the impending journey to NYC on the Greyhound (standard practice to have the fear over it!). That night i wasn't going to do much until three girls asked me to watch a movie with them (2 Brits and an Auzzie)... and you know me... how can i refuse a movie?? The fact that it was girls asking me is entirely inconsequential! Ha, as if! Anyway, ended up watching When Harry Met Sally, which i always thought was a chick-flick, but i gotta say - it's pretty damn laddy and had me laughing away - boys, check it out.

Skip a day, and i'm on that damn Greyhound again after walking all day in TORRENTIAL rain. That was NOT fun and soaked me to the bone - every layer was drenched. A lot like the NOLA rain, but a little lighter - still damn soaking! This time i decided against the non-waterproof kagool i had with me, and just braved it... again, in shorts. My legs are looking pretty bronze now - weathered too!

The Greyhound itself... was actually normal!! I gotta say, that's actually quite a shame considering that it was my last one. I could have at least had ONE nutcase on the bus shouting obscenities or rocking back and forth whilst foaming at the mouth... but no. Everyone was normal... so i slept... a lot, and crossed 4 states in the process (Illinois, Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania if you care). Long trip, but worth it to arrive here in NYC!

So what have i been upto whilst here?? Well, i first of all met my mother out here, which was nice - good to see a friendly face, and someone who i can begin prattling to about my journeys! Hannerz got a 1/2 filled in journey story (as i was only half way), but now more can be elaborated upon... except the stricted X-Rated stuff... that's probably best saved for mates, and not your folks right?? Haha.

Spent Friday just wandering around NYC and Central Park, and stopping off to see a Broadway production in the evening - it's gotta be done! Again, Aaron 'The Blag' Everitt was on form - tickets were sold out except for crappy standing $21 room. So i made a point about my mum's jetlag and the guy perked up again and 'looked' for seats... he found them - 2 $50 seats in the orchestral area. Result right? Yes, and even more so when you consider that these seats are actually priced at $120 EACH. Yes, i will save you money! Seems you're not the only blagger in town Jay!! Haha. No free sangria though... you win there! ;-). Anyway, Chicago was pretty cool - i finally began to understand the plot (i'm not a musical buff), and the girls in it were stunning - ab's so defined you could grate cheese on them. Yum! So when my attention waned i could at least stare at them. I'm never off the ball folks ;-) haha.

Next day... i encountered hurricane number 2 of my journeys. First i had Edouard in NOLA, which was wet. NOW I had to encounter Hurricane Hanna as it hit New York. What is it with me attracting natural disasters?? Luckily i've had no tornados or tsunamis, but hurricanes are bad enough! I don't think you get our news over at home, but it's definitely hurricane season over here - one's currently destroying Cuba (called Irvine), which isn't cool! Anyway, before it started to drench me, we managed to navigate our way over to the Empire State Building - which i only associate with King Kong, and got upto the 86th floor to have a look... at cloud. Yes, it was like having cataracts! Still pretty cool though...

... and leads me onto Aaron's random rant of the post! People who take photos of photos. Ok, why on Earth do you go on holiday to visit these places only to take a photo of the photo of that place? Example: in my hotel's lobby there's a wall size photo of Time Square and i've seen people standing in front of it having THEIR photo taken. Oh, did i forget to mention that Time Square is ONE BLOCK away - literally a 2 minute walk?! Why accept a crap substitute when you can have the real thing?! It's like having sex with 'Molly the Blow Up Love Friend' when you've got a gorgeous girlfriend inviting you into bed - you're only cheating yourself (and probably gonna get some chafage off that doll!). Urgh, bloody tourists!

Anyway! Then we dove into Macy's, which is an awesomely big shop full of bargains. Didn't buy much, as it's too big, but it was cool... and then it started to rain... and rain... and rain... About 3 inches fell in an hour at one point! Again, i wore shorts... as well as this huge poncho that we got from our bus tour company. So i looked a bit like a member of the Ku Klux Klan who clearly has no sense of how to dress with his shorts and flip-flops on. Well, either a KKK member, or Captain Condom. I'll leave it to the critics to decide! Unfortunately the rain kinda washed out the day, as we couldn't go uptown or downtown, as it just wasn't fun anymore! But nevertheless... i had stuff planned for the night time!!

You remember the night previously i went to a Broadway show?? All very nice and chirpy. Saturday night i went out to a gig in NYC - from Chicago to a band called Carcass. Quite a contrast of styles here! I think the names of the support bands should indicate how non-'nice and chirpy' this gig was: Aborted, Suffocation, Necrophagist and er.... 1349 (decidedly less sinister sounding!). The gig was in Times Square in the Nokia Theater, and it was amazing. Such good fun to get out to a show whilst i was away, and what better location?! Though i gotta say that gigs here are timed VERY oddly - the headline band didn't take the stage til midnight and finish til 2am!! That's unheard of back home, but is apparently routine out here! It was funny though to walk outside after having my ears molested that people were still roaming around in droves! NYC really is the city that never sleeps!! Well, i do - i went to sleep straight after. Need my beauty sleep - you can't keep my perfect face and stature on no sleep! Haha!

This brings us to yesterday - the all out touring day - the aim to cover as much ground as possible. And was it achieved?? You damn right! (Sorry, listening to the song 'Shaft' by Isaac Hayes at the minute - so there may be a lot of this in the upcoming paragraph!). Got uptown to see Harlem... which was kinda normal looking, though i still don't want to hang around there after darkness falls. I'll pass, cheers. Saw all of Central Park, had the worse lunch in the world at some Chinese place and then went downtown, stopping off at Wall Street - which was really nice and SO quiet!, Ground Zero - which was saddening, but good to look at, just to put the whole event into context - you really can't imagine how BIG those things must've been!, and the big blue lady in the bay, yes - the Statue of Liberty. Went out on a boat to see her, though all i could think of looking at the statue was Ghostbusters I (the prequel to the scariest movie EVER). I swear she was taller in that film! Still a sight to see though, despite the typically patriotic music getting pumped into my ears whilst i gazed upon her visage! The US definitely love their country! That i cannot doubt!

That kinda sums up yesterday really, which then brings us onto today. What have i done?? Well, i don't know yet, as i'm not psychic (although sometimes i like you to believe i am!). It's 10am in the morning at the mo, so i've got a lot of time to do a lot of things! Bit more exploring and shopping methinks! No hi-jinks with the ladies, considering my mum's in town... but trust me folks... i've got enough stories to tell y'all - don't you worry ;-)

This may well be the last post you get from the US! Sob! I'm actually gutted to be leaving, as this trip has been sensational - but i'll gush more about that in my final posting. So, the next time i speak to you i'll probably be back in Nuneaton! There'll still be updates though folks, so stay tuned!

Speak soon, and i love y'all,

Aaron! x

... Like A Big Pizza Pie...

2008-09-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Chicago folks!! Well, not literally welcome... as you're most probably in the UK, or elsewhere in the US if you're Mr. Knott or one of the many ace peeps i've met over in this big ol' country! That is, unless you're stalking me, and you're actually in Chicago sitting opposite me in this internet room. You are pretty hot though, so i'll forgive you ;-)

I tell you what - i'm SO glad to be out of Salt Lake City. I can now actually tell you about the hostel where i was... unlike in the last post due to ''wandering eyes''. Basically it was packed full of random weirdo's. I'm basically talking about compressing the Greyhound into a hostel! There were people LIVING in the hostel for one - that's something i've not seen before... and these folks weren't your average, nice traveller; they were vagrants or the mentally unhinged! You think i'm joking don't you?? How about an example... at 11pm, when i was trying to get my head down after the day's travelling, my room 'mate' walks upto my bunk, stark naked and starts talking to me about religion and Europe. Now, i'm a personable chap and will ofcourse talk to someone... but this guy was loopy. He started saying how Europe was totally poor, and that everything over there was salted. He figured that this salt is ''a curse thrown down upon Europe by Satan''. He then started talking DEEPLY about the Bible and quoting verses at me. He also reckoned that Jesus had been killed by Satan, and that he won't be coming back any time soon. I tried my hardest to close my eyes and sleep... i eventually did.

The next thing i heard out of him at 3am was ''Al Capone was a really cool guy, i'd like to be him''. Nice - dying of syphillis sounds AWESOME...

Anyway, i flew out of SLC and landed in Chicago yesterday. Sound flight, and met some nice folks at the airport - so the inhabitants of SLC aren't as nutty as those hostel folks, so no disrespect to anyone who may be from there! This hostel (in Chicago) is MUCH better - full of normal people, who are all around my age - bonus!

Ok, so what's Chicago famous for?? Skyscrapers (it has the tallest in the US), wind (it's the Windy City), that theatrical production of the same name, Al Capone... and pizza! So what's the first thing i do when i get here?? Why, i hunt down the pizzeria that invented the 'deep-pan pizza' - yes, Chicagotown Pizzas have based their ideas on the city that started it all... too bad they've missed the mark ENTIRELY though! The pizzeria is called ''Uno'' - and the dude invented the dish back at the turn of the 20th Century - so i had to sample one didn't i?? The whole experience is basically the dietary equivalent of sex... ''how?'' i can hear you ask... well let me explain!

First of all you have a 45 minute wait while the pizza cooks (this is authentic remember), which is a time where they ply you with appetizers... think of these as the foreplay - piquing your interest and warming you up for what's to come. You're anticipation builds and builds as time moves on, til you can stand it no more, and you NEED the 'main course'...

... that time comes soon enough, and you're lost in a world of ecstacy. The ''pizza'' looks so enticing lying there for you to tuck into, and when you do, it's so satisfying and everything you'd been hoping for. It also seems to last an age too (i don't mean to brag ;-) ha!). When you're done you feel an overwhelming sense of elation and also a curious amount of tiredness - all you want to do is sleep. Does the comparison end there? Oh no no; you see despite having just finished, you strangely find yourself thirsting for more, and you can't wait to go again should the ''food'' go down (or go up if you're thinking about the OTHER thing).

I did indeed did feel this urge to go again, and i did today - though i was unfaithful and popped over to ''Due'' (the younger sister restaurant of Uno) for some action. This act of treachery is again very similar to the relationship / loving comparison... you see, despite me enjoying my lunch, i got horrible abdominal spasms afterwards - a ''disease'' if you will. Cheaters never prosper folks... cheaters never prosper!!

So... after all that, what else have i filled my day with?? Skyscrapers! First thing i headed over to the John Hancock centre and went upto the 94th floor (this is the 2nd tallest building in the US - after the Sears Tower with 105 floors, which is next to my hostel). The views up there were amazing - you can see into FOUR states from up there! That's how tall it is! Unfortunately it was a little foggy, but it was sensational. I then wandered round taking snaps and trying to find a callbox to ring the UK... but it seems that Chicago phoneboxes don't let you dial internationally - apparently the world outside of the US doesn't exist, so that idea fell flat. Instead i visited all the art exhibits around the city - some are just plain WEIRD - one is two 50 foot tall towers that stream water from their bricks... with two faces on them that just blink and smile at one another until they both pucker up and water sprays out of their mouths. This is hard to convey in writing, but i've taken photos - so you'll see what i mean!! There was loads of other modern art out here too, including a Picasso statue entitled ''Untitled'' - which i sat and tried to interpret, but i couldn't - that's one for you Aimee haha!

It's been a pretty damn cool day - literally too, as the weather hasn't broached 19oC today - a nice bit of respite! My blister's back too - yay - so that's annoying, but 'luckily' i have a 17 hour Greyhound to catch tomorrow, so i can rest it then. That Greyhound will take me to my final destination on this trip, which was consequently my first destination - New York City!! I can actually explore it properly now! So that basically means everything but walking 50 blocks to the Greyhound depot along Broadway and back! Hence, there's lots still to do! I'll also be joined out here by a familiar face - my mum! It'll be good to begin the process that you're all going to have to bear witness unto - me chewing your ear off about my journeys!! She gets to be the 'lucky' first person (nevermind!)

That's another blog over with then! We're drawing close to the end now - there's only 2 or possibly 3 more to go and it's over! We'll have to actually talk in person - what a scary thought right?! Who, in this day and age, actually talks face to face anymore?? I'll leave you to ponder that one...

See you soon!

Aaron! x

PS: A little bit of a quiz here... all but one of these blog titles is a song title, or song lyric (in essence, though it may be twisted slightly) - which one's the odd one out?? Also... can you name each artist and song that the titles were inspired by? Oh the excitement!

When the (Latter-Day) Saints Go Marching In...

2008-09-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

It's time for another thrilling installment of... Aaron Dominates the USA!! I hope you're finding it thrilling anyway... and if not... well, i don't know what i can do. The smut and innuendo quotas are already pretty full (though i'll jam in some more - gotta really stuff that gap full haven't i?? Ha!), along with the subtle jokes and attempted humour! Also found out that i'm getting new readers (which is AWESOME), although you're a bit late... but i'll forgive you, probably. If you're new to my fantastic views on the US, then scroll ALL the way down and start at the beginning. I promise it's worth it! Though you best set aside a little while! Anyway, let's get this party on the road and catch up on what's been goin' down since i last posted!

I'm currently holed up in Salt Lake City in Utah, awaiting my flight tomorrow to Chicago (Illinois) - a good few thousand miles East of here. Why am i taking the plane i can hear you asking... well... the Greyhound would only take a quick 37 hours, so i think i'll pass and fly there in 3. Seriously, if you haven't taken a long distance ride on the US Greyhound you have NO idea how hellacious that'd be! But before i start telling you about the present or even the future, let's go ''Back To The Past'' (not quite as catchy a film title, but it'll do.)

I left you up in Yellowstone after my day of wildlife spotting with the most mentally unbalanced guide in the world. I remembered a rhyme she kept singing all day - ''Heather Holly is my name, touring touring is my game'' - that wears VERY thin even after the first time you hear it. I couldn't even fake it with her (a laugh i mean)... goddam that was a tough journey! Anyway, the next day i headed out with a DIFFERENT guide, called Brad, who was actually awesome and a total legend. He was a bit of a biology geek though all rugged too. I dare say you girls would swoon at him, as he's got that whole 'smart but really physical' thing goin on. I just thought he was cool.

So, this tour was focused on the world famous geysers that are all around Yellowstone in what's known as the 'Lower Loop' - the one y'all will know is Old Faithful, i'm sure, but i know of quite a few others from a course i took at Uni back in year 3 (i don't think any of you other bio folks took it did you??), so it was pretty sweet to see all these textbook images close up! Also saw a hell of a lot of wildlife - some of which i didn't see the day previously - namely BLACK BEARS, elk and bald eagles (i know that i slate birds (of the feathered kind) loads, but a bald eagle's a bit special as it's so rare - got some AMAZING pics of one!).

Anyway, the thermal stuff. I gotta say this, but Old Faithful was a bit of an anti-climax: another case of the yanks thinking something is WAY more spectacular than it actually is. It's basically just a hole in the ground that sprays water 100 foot in the air. It's literally JUST a hole. When you compare this to the other geysers in the park (look up Castle Geyser) it looks so weak! At least the other geysers look a bit spectacular!

Also saw a load of hot springs, which are the things i really wanted to see as the colours in them are so awe-inspiring. One in particular, humourously called Morning Glory Spring (if you don't know why that's funny then you're probably too old ;-) ), was breath-taking, with the pool changing in colour from a rich royal blue, through green, yellow, orange and red - all in a pool about 20m across! I won't go too geeky, as there's definitely potential for me to do so, but the colours are triggered by millions of bacteria that are able to survive at temperatures WAY above what'd kill us (try 100 degree C and above!).

I thought i'd lay down my credentials again - just dropping in that i'm a Bio Masters Graduate - again, it went down a storm! Brad knew all about that stuff too, so we chatted away about the thermals and wildlife. Yes, it was geeky, but it was also cool to talk to someone on the level about all that.

Basically, there's no way that my words can capture what i saw in Yellowstone, on either day, as it was all way too visually stimulating to be able to write down here. Lucky for you i've taken LOADS of photos in the park, as well as about 700+ overall, so there's plenty to stare at when i'm back (as well as my unruly hair which is getting too long to mess-up-spike as usual!) - i am shaving though, so i don't look totally like a hobo, nor do i smell like one... i don't think.

I spent last night up at the bear refuge, in the rain, at temperatures below 8oC - in shorts again, just standing there watching the grizzlies and you know what? I felt pretty emotional. Not because of how amazing it was to be so close to these animals, but because i was truly sad to be leaving Yellowstone, much like i was sad to leave Alaska and New Orleans. It was pretty cool to just stand there and see this huge 700lb+ grizzly sitting like a teddy bear (on its arse) just staring at me as i looked back at it - i connected with the beast! I stayed until my vision was at failing level and went home a bit despondent to pack my bags. Sad times.

Oh, forgot to mention how a girl that worked at the place i booked my first tour (with the eccentric tour guide) came and found me out! She walked over a mile 'to bring me a CD of pictures' - yea, right! We all know why she came don't we?? She wanted to come see the Az-meister for some good times! Honestly, anything i said, she found hilarious - pretty much there for the taking! I mean, i AM pretty damn funny (and REALLY modest ;-) ) but she was hanging off my every word - a perfect opportunity to improve Anglo-US relations yes? Unfortunately for her, i was typing up that last blog at the time, and me being SO dedicated to you guys means that my attention was focused elsewhere. I hope y'all appreciate the sacrifices i make for you!

Anyway, i left Yellowstone this morning and travelled for 8 hours to reach where i am now - Salt Lake City, home of the mormons (or the Church of Latter-Day Saints as i think they prefer to be known!). I'm not really into exploring here, as it's literally only a stop of convenience so that i'm ready for my flight tomorrow. It's a lot like a 10 to 2 girl you'd meet back home. You only get with her either because a) there are no other options, b) you're just too damn frisky to go home alone, or c) you need a place to sleep for the night (ahhh, Ayia Napa... memories right Dave? Haha). Plus, there's nothing here that i really want to see... hell, i don't even think there's anything here besides the temple! Speaking of which, that thing is impressive. Most US churches look like a bungalow you'd see in Nuneaton with a cross bolted on the front. This church / temple though looked like ours - huge gothic spires, so it looked pretty European! Impressive for the yanks! However, since getting into Salt Lake i've noticed myself saying 'oh Jesus Christ', 'goddam' and loads of other blasphemies (as well as lots of fruity language). I'm not overtly religious (in the fact that i don't follow a certain religion) but i was still pretty conscious of the fact... and it made me laugh a bit when i realised. Luckily i didn't shout it all out loud or no doubt they'd chase me out of town with pitch-forks (naturally they're all backwards here haha).

I'll talk more about the hostel i'm in when i update you from Chicago, as prying eyes may read what i write, which isn't cool.

So, what lies ahead? Well, i'm off on a flight at midday tomorrow bound for Midway Airport in Chicago, which should be amazing. I've not seen a big city in a while now, so it'll be pretty cool to be in one again. I don't think it'll quite compare to the natural stuff i've seen, but it'll still be pretty ace all the same. Lots of things to see and do! And luckily no Greyhound involved. Only one of those bad boys left - 17 hours between Chicago and New York, then i'm DONE with them. Hurrah!!

Anyway, i'll leave you for now. Hopefully i'll have loads of things to update you on next time. I'm sure i will. If not, then i'll make it all up ;-)

Speak soon,

Aaron! x

If You Go Down to the Woods Today...

2008-08-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

'ello there folks!! How's everyone doing?? Good?? I hope so, coz i CERTAINLY am!!

I survived the 27 hour journey from San Francisco to Yellowstone!! Wahey!! Though let me tell you - there are stories to tell... yes, stories about the Greyhound! It didn't just consist of me dozing in and out of consciousness, keeping myself to myself and listening to my i-pod. Seriously folks, you have NO idea how to ride a bus til you ride the US Greyhound. Hannerz learnt from my sage advice and witnessed the kind of loopy folks on the bus (remember the guy who showed you photos of his dog and laughed like the black dude from Scary Movie bro?? I'm sure you do!!). So without further a-do, let's fill you in shall we??

After much hobbling around San Fran (remember, i have a severed toe - plus blisters come morning!) i finally made it onto my bus to Salt Lake City, Utah, which connects to Yellowstone, Montana. All was well at first... then onto the bus steps a dude whom I am going to dub ''Mumbly Joe''. He sat up front at first... but ended up sitting behind me (thank god not WITH me). The WHOLE way he would mumble random facts about anything, then break into song (normally Johnny Cash), then just say whatever he saw. I hate to break it to him - but this ISN'T Catchphrase... Roy Walker is not urging you to 'say what you see'!

I actually sat by myself for the WHOLE journey... which was unusual. I sat there looking out the window looking at everyone getting on, as usual, as i keep an eye out for weirdos / hotties (unfortunately only about 1 girl out of every journey i've taken in this trip falls into the latter group). I then caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror... i too have become that single male travelling the Greyhound that I too would like to avoid if i didn't know me! Scary thought! It could be the fact that i now look a bit like the Wild Man of Bourneo, but who knows. Naturally, any gorgeous women would be fighting for the seat next to me, but as they don't exist on the G-hound, they don't flock to me like salmon.

Anyway, i thought Mumbly Joe was the biggest 'thrill' of the ride... but no no no. When we rolled into Reno (which looks crap by the way - a poor man's Vegas including a cheap-o immitation of Circus Circus) there were loads of police waiting for the bus. I thought nothing of this - and asked one where to get some food as i hadn't eaten in 15 hours... and i wandered off. I then wandered back and stood there bus-side watching my luggage (another Greyhound rule - defend that luggage like it's the last woman on Earth). Then a dude in normal clothes kindly asks me to go inside because of 'pumping fuel into the coach' - fair enough i thought...

Five minutes later, the same guy walks into the depot - this time with his NVPD (Nevada Police Department) badge on show - announcing that drugs have been found in bags belonging to two women!! Now all the K9 units made sense!! Magically, the women were nowhere to be seen. Obviously they were more on the ball than i was. Clearly, i'd make a balls of smuggling drugs! At least that's an occupation i can strike off my list (not that it ever WAS one though!).

Let's fast forward a bit, as the rest of the journey is pretty standard. I rocked into Yellowstone at about 5pm and set about getting me some food (it now being a good 10 hours since my crap sandwich in Reno). What do you eat in a National Park famous for bears?? Why, BEAR ofcourse!! Yep, a big slab of Grizzly steak was served up - with a big side portion of gullability. No, ofcourse i didn't eat bear. I would NEVER eat that animal - most things are go go go, but bears and monkeys / apes are very much off the menu. Unless i was stuck on a mountain with a fellow traveller - i'd eat them, no questions. I infact tucked into 16oz of bison. Mmmmm, hit the spot. Getting me ready for today... my wildlife adventure!

The reason i came to Yellowstone is to see nature. I loved what i saw in Alaska and was keen for more! Was i disappointed?? Not at all! Today i can say that i've seen (and taken photos of): grizzly bears, wolves, bison (LOADS), coyotes, moose (male this time, and further away than in Alaska thank god!) and lots of lousy birds which no-one should care about. Me included.

It was so amazing to be within an arm's length of bison walking over the roads (i was in a car - they kill people with their horns regularly - they weigh over a ton!). Also seeing grizzly bears and wolves was AMAZING. I've fallen in love with those bears. No doubt they'd destroy me, but i'd be thinking how cool it was being mauled to death by Yogi Bear. I'd be less chuffed if it was BooBoo, as for me, he ruined the TV series. Much as Scrappy Doo ruined Scooby Doo. Why oh why do Hanna-Barbera (the cartooners) insist on putting those crappy little cousins / brothers / pests in the shows?? Welcome to the first of today's random Aaron outbursts. There may be more... there may not! Read on!

I think my tour guide merits a mention, as she was slightly... odd. This is a woman who laughs at everything, even when she's totally vexed with the people she's talking to! She brought to mind an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer tries to suppress his rage all the time, which culminates in him developing stress bumps on his neck before he eventually EXPLODES with rage. Yes, she is that same kind of person! She never exploded, but boy did these Italians on the tour annoy her. The kids knew NO English whatsoever, so the tour was pointless for them, but their parents weren't much better! Yet again - you pesky Europeans getting into the US!! They didn't snore though, so they're fine in my book!

I don't think it helped her temper when i corrected her on a point she was making. She waded into the territories of microbiology, which i know like the back of my hand thanks to a module i took over a year ago where we actually studied Yellowstone. I piped up, as ever, and made my point clear. I was now in awe of all my passengers. It's interesting to see that what Hayzy said to me back in the UK about scientists being highly prized in the US is evident wherever i go. I say about having done a Biology Masters and doing Biochem Engineering next and they think that's the most amazing 'Major' in the world. You don't get that treatment back home. Biology is the whore of the sciences: she's easy and everyone's had her. Chemistry and Physics are your high-class escorts, if you will. Admittedly those escorts are dull and no fun at all, but you don't catch the 'disease' of having studied a supposedly soft science!

Made some pals on the tour though, which was cool - they're both pilots, so that was pretty different! I think i won their respect with my fact rebuttal about biology. Who knew that being a geek = respect in the US!! We sank a couple of beers in the back of the bus on the way back and just chatted the drive back away!

So, what's next?? Well, i'm here for one whole day more, which again, is pretty gutting. Tomorrow i head out on another tour to see all the world famous geysers, where i can put my biology knowledge on show (again!). Then sadly it'll be time for me to leave Yellowstone, which'll suck. I then begin to hurtle my way East towards Chicago (by plane thankfully).

I'll drop y'all a line from Salt Lake City, Utah, where i'll be kipping before my flight on Tuesday and let you know how the geysers were. Probably mind-blowing, like so much of this trip actually. This tour of the states has been amazing, and has actually made me want to come back to so many places - a boy's holiday of debauchery to New Orleans and Las Vegas (lads - we need to do this - Hannerz agrees!) and an adventure trip through Yellowstone and Alaska - backpacking and fishing the days away (never fished before... but it looks fun in the middle of glaciers and huge rivers with wild bears and bison on all sides!). Never dismiss the US as a holiday destination folks - there's much more to this country than Orlando... just avoid the crap areas i've highlighted! Ha!

So that's all for now folks - i'll speak to y'all soon!

Aaron! x

It's Fun to Stay at Le YMCA, N'est pas?

2008-08-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

Howdy there folks!!

I'm currently holed up in San Francisco, California!! Not a bad little place, though i've only been here a day... and how much have i covered?! LOTS. I've seen all the sights AND been to A&E - hell yes. What a day indeed! Let's get down to the nitty gritty then shall we??

There's nothing much else to report re: Alaska. Simply, it was amazing, and i'd love to go out there again in the true mid-summer where it doesn't get dark until 2am. Hence the title of my last post - 'The All Night Lights' - Alaska stays lit now right past 10pm, which to me with my dodgy eyes was HEAVEN. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for San Fran - hence me going to A&E, but that comes into play later on in this sordid little tale...

So, talking of titles - why have i named this one accordingly?? Well, it's San Fran isn't it - the US's answer to Brighton (though i don't recall anyone actually posing the question in the first place... so why answer it?) Not my thing, and not the reason why i've come here - i'm more into 'peach melba' ice cream if you get my drift, as opposed to 'rocky road' flavour... the reason for coming here is to see the sights! And goddam there are QUITE a few of them, that's for sure... but again, i'm jumping ahead of myself (it didn't take long did it?) I'll keep explaining the title...

The French bit. It seems that California is the favoured holiday destination of the French! I noticed this in San Diego, and now again in San Francisco - it's like i'm in bloody Quebec or Paris! Everyone i ask a question to is French and denies all knowledge of the English language - why?? Oh, and one of my room-mates is a French dude... which is fine... except for the fact that in the middle of the night i thought i heard someone being severely mauled by a bear. But no... it was no bear, it was his SNORING. Now, y'all know i can't tolerate that right?? It drives me UP THE WALL, incase you hadn't guessed!! Out came the i-pod and 6 hours of the most broken sleep in the world last night... not good. On an aside - girls, how do you cope sleeping next to a guy at night when he snores?? If i were you i'd have already placed that pillow securely over his face and smothered him into the next life.

Anyway - onto San Fran itself (as i arrived here late last night, so saw nothing then - yesterday was purely flying time!). How is it?? As i expected?? Yes and no. I'd heard a mix of things off folks before i came - namely that there are LOADS of homeless and some random weird folks around - both of which are true. Also heard it was a beautiful place... that also is very true! The city has so many things to see and do that i had to organise my day with military strategic planning! Did i pull it off?? Ofcourse, it's me!

Kicked off the day by again cooking another world-class set of pancakes (i unofficially crowned myself in Hollywood, having seen what the girls and Alex could cook up!) and setting off for The Rock aka Alcatraz! I always thought Alcatraz was Alkatraz - i was wrong, but nevertheless, let's not get bogged down in the semantics shall we??

I rocked upto the ticket office to see the sign ''Sold Out Until Thursday Afternoon'' - this alarmed me. Thursday afternoon will see me riding that big ol' Greyhound bus for the best part of 27 hours... i won't be IN San Fran then. Lame! So i switched on the British accent and approached the ticket lady - asked, and she said no. So i tried my best 'puppy dog' look (not a good look for me) and she managed to pull a ticket out of thin air for me - RESULT!! So i happily boarded the ferry and sailed over to The Rock. Have to say - it was awesome, and was exactly what i was expecting. It was just so damn cool to walk around the big ol' cell blocks and see everything and learn about all the ne'er-do-wells that spent time in there aka Al 'Scarface' Capone, 'Machine-Gun' Kelly etc. and also learnt about the only escapees - it was like a real life Prison Break!! Hannerz and Jay - i know you boys would have enjoyed it!! I felt like shouting out ''Now... we run!!'' but there wasn't a prompt and i wasn't feeling that lively!

One thing i noticed whilst there was how many US people use video recorders to record everything on film. That sounds cool n all... but when was the last time any of you actually VIEWED what you'd recorded?? I for certain cannot recall watching a home-movie in recent memory... well, except for ones featuring Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson (not at the same time though... oh baby that'd rule...) but we won't go into that!! I can't ever say i've watched one of my own movies (mine aren't of the same ilk as Paris or Pamela's - believe me, they don't exist!) and i'm damned if i know anyone else who's watched back their holiday movies. Weddings, sure, skydives (hi mum), sure, but holidays?! I recall recording when i went to Orlando back in 1999 and i've not seen it in the past 9 years... probably because it's on a VCR, but that's not the point. Well, what is the point to this paragraph?? There isn't one - it was just an observation / conundrum. I'm afraid you won't ever be able to get back the minute you just spent reading this little aside. Sorry. So onwards...

After that i headed out for some lunch, which AGAIN consisted of Caesar salad (i've gone mad on it - had 5 in 4 days!) - guess it's a rejection of all that meat i had in the south (make a joke out of that... go on... *sigh*). Also happened upon an incredibly hot waitress called Saidy. Boys, we're talking so hot that your eyeballs melt in your sockets when you glance at her... yes! She picked up on my accent (it never gets old!) and sat down and chatted to me about my journeys. I guess in San Fran, they don't care if you randomly take time off! She's actually from Chicago it turns out - where i'll be heading, and she got real excited so i was thinking ''say stay at mine, say stay at mine'' - it never happened, as she's in SF now, but i've got a list of cool places to check out in my wallet, so that should be pretty killer. Oh, and incase anyone cares which Caesar i had - i had fresh crab and shrimp (straight out the sea).

Next... well... this is more like a confession. In my guidebook i saw an advert for ''Cartoon Art Museum'' which immediately peaked my childish interests. Yes, the 10 year old boy inside me (in a non-Michael Jackson way) piped up and said ''go go go'' - you see, i was / am a bit of a comic book geek. I don't read them anymore (honest), but i read them religiously when i was younger - X-Men, Spiderman, Incredible Hulk - they were my Bible! So i naturally had to indulge!!

How was it?? Pretty cool! LOADS of strips everywhere to read and look at. Some of the cells in there are worth in excess of $100,000 - so there's nothing childish about that amount of money! We're talking ORIGINAL Looney Tunes and Walt Disney stuff - wow! Always been a fan of animation, so it was a pretty cool way to pass a couple of hours!

Next on my hit list was the big thing you associate with San Fran... the Golden Gate Bridge! I, naturally, assumed that Americans are just lazy and that i could walk there no hassle - it looked close enough physically. I now put this down to what i have termed ''The Vegas Complex'' - this is something that Hannerz and I found out oh too soon in Vegas. Basically, Americans build all their signs WAY too big, so to a non-US person like you or I (or not you if you're from the US) the place looks really close. The Strip in Vegas seemed to stretch an eternity and the walk to the bridge was no different. After 3 miles, i plain gave up and felt a bit glum as i couldn't reach the bridge and all my photos were blurry messes... so i started to walk home when i noticed a boat advertising $15 boat rides to the bridge!! Result!! Right??

Yes, yes it was. And no, this isn't where the A&E story kicks in, but it's coming. The boat was basically a little fishing vessel, and we drove out and saw the bridge just as the sun was setting, which was beyond beautiful and really romantic... for me, myself and I to experience. Well worth the money and i'm very glad that boat was there, got some crackin' shots to show you all. It's one hell of a big bridge!!

Pull back into port at 7.45 and it's already dusk - this is no Alaska folks, this place gets dark too early! So i quickly beat a trail home - i'm like a reverse vampire - if i 'see' the darkness i'm sure to expire... or at least put myself in A&E ha! Before all that, i happened across Pier 39 - which is home to a huge colony of Sea Lions. Yes, WILD sea lions all belching up their food and making an incredible amount of noise - it was awesome to see! And no, a sea lion did not put me in A&E, though i'm sure it could have.

No, i injured myself when crossing the road - as a tram decided that red lights mean nothing and charged through towards me. I've read enough horror stories about trams to know that you don't let one of them hit you - they don't stop! So i jumped across to the pavement... and missed fractionally, causing me to shear away the top 1/2cm of my big toe on the curb. Straight off. Ouch. Cue some hobbling - it's nothing i thought... then i looked down to see the blood pouring out of my toe...

Those who know me know all too well that me and my blood do NOT mix well. Seeing my own blood causes me to lose consciousness VERY fast. I'm such a wimp. Cut me AND make me eat a tomato and sit back with a bucket of popcorn because you're in for a treat. Though i do get really ratty when i'm bleeding, so don't laugh.

I quickly dived into a hotel where the owners remarked ''oh my god that looks horrible'' - yea, thanks - and they gave me some plasters and cellotape (yes, cellotape) - so i strapped it round me and hobbled on to the pharmacy where the pharmacist told me to go to A&E as it looked like it needed stitches. Ace. So i went THERE. Boy, there are some craaaaazy people in that A&R unit - they scared me, so i just clutched my toe for comfort. I eventually got in to see a nurse who pulled off the dressing to see that the chunk of skin was still attached to me (yea, i'll give you disgustingly in-depth details - i had to live it damn it!!) which she said was good as i won't need stitches. Result! And my levels of consciousness soon recovered. Really, i AM that soft with that stuff.

And that's it - that's my day!! Here i am now, back in my hostel at 11pm typing this to you. No doubt Pierre (that may or may not be his name) is already awakening the Cracken from the depths of the Pacific to come and engulf the boats in San Fran bay with his voluminous bellows, so it's just as well my i-pod is fully charged!!

What lies ahead is a 27 hour bus journey, which is NOT cool. Luckily it's ''only'' 18 hours on the Greyhound, then the remainder on a little bus, which goes through the Rockies - so at least the scenery will be stunning! Or so i hope!! If not, it's i-pod all the way. As ever.

So on that note - it's goodbye from me for now. Should Yellowstone have the capability to communicate information down a telephone line (aka the internet), i'll fill you in on my exploits up there. Will i find Yogi Bear?? Will i see BooBoo?? Will they swipe-a my pic-a-nic basket?? Time will tell!

Speak soon folks!

Aaron! x

The All Night Lights!!

2008-08-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

Well, isn't this a turn up for the books?! Me... writing TWO blogs from the same place! Yes, i'm still in Alaska, but i've been here 4 days, so thought i'd enlighten your lives with what i've been upto recently! Look, it was either this, or a MONSTER blog entry in two days... and no-one likes one that's too big, it's painful for some, and just makes other 'posts' feel inferior when they cop an eyeful. Ah, it's good to be crude haha.

Right, I left you by saying i was goin' to bed and that i was off to Seward the next day, and indeed that is what i did! Seward, for those not in the know, is 140 miles south of Anchorage in the Kenai National Park. Now, this is no ordinary park... no no no... there are VERY few trees, but a shedload of ice, fjords, glaciers... and AWESOME mammals!

The whole point of me coming to Alaska (as well as the brag factor, naturally), was to see nature in its raw state. As much as i love seeing animals in zoos, i always leave feeling sad for them, because they've lost their freedom (i'm no hippy, but i do have concerns for the little things!). Kenai is a whole different kettle of fish - everything's wild, and you won't EVER see some of these animals in zoos, as they're frankly too damn big!

As ever, i decided to rock the shorts look. As anyone who vaguely knows me will know - i tend to wear shorts when the weather REALLY dictates that i shouldn't. So a journey to a glacier where the temperature is just touching a few degrees above freezing is PERFECT for me to short up! I can proudly say i was the only one on the boat wearing shorts. Consequently, we also had a safety talk about capsizing. Now, i've had WAY too much training in this when i was younger. I can happily say i'd survive a ferry capsizing as i know loads of tricks to stay alive... but if we hit that arctic water then over 1/2 the passengers would die instantly. Why?? Most of them look ready to be deposited on the ocean bed to turn into oil... they were so old!! Before we even set off, i knew there'd be no romance in front of a glacier. I dig older women... but only about 5 or 6 years older than me, i don't dig the 50-60 year old bracket!

Anyway, to the actual cruise. Simply, it was amazing. I saw what i wanted to see... HUMPBACK WHALES!! They weren't super close (about 300-500 feet), but we saw two of them come up to breathe and saw them 'fluke' (aka tail slap). Words can't describe how breathtaking it is to see these animals in action. Some of you will be thinking 'can't wait to see the photos', well, you're going to be disappointed there. Yesterday, i remembered something my Dad said the other week: ''I just wanted to enjoy the moment while it was actually happening'' (talking about my graduation), and that's exactly what i did. I'd have missed the moment using my camera, so i just absorbed it. It was amazing.

Also managed to see sea lions, seals and sea otters swimming freely! We also stopped to see puffins... and i'm not being funny, but i could care less about puffins, or any bird for that matter (except Amazonian ones). Four years at Sheffield Uni has killed ANY interest in birds! (Folks who did bio with me at SU will know exactly what i mean!). And besides... i saw puffins in Scarborough when i was younger. Sure, the surroundings aren't exactly on par, but the birds are the same, so sod it!

We also floated out to see an active tidewater glacier. What's that? Well, you know when you see an arctic nature program you see those enormous ice sheets near the sea, where huge chunks slide off into the ocean?? That's a tidewater glacier, and that falling is called 'calving'. I was lucky enough to see Holgate Glacier in Kenai calving! Again, i skipped photographing the calving, but it was a spectacle that you can only see once. It's so saddening to think that my kids will never be able to witness this, as these glaciers are retreating SO rapidly because of global warming! I heard a woman say she 'didn't believe in global warming' on the boat. That vexed me, and i almost gave her a lesson... but then i figured that she's American, so it'd only go over her head. She's better off looking at puffins.

That was basically all of yesterday! The boat cruise was 6 hours, with 6 hours of travelling to and fro Seward... but it really was worth it. I may not have seen wild grizzlies, but a humpback whale or two DEFINITELY satiates my hunger for wildlife... for now...

So, what have i done today?? Walked! And walked and walked and walked! I've covered about 25 miles today on foot, and boy can my feet feel it. I just wanted all of nature around Anchorage to soak in, and it did. Sometimes literally. I'm getting quite adept at grabbing mosquitoes mid-suck now, which must annoy them SO much (to the boys reading... i'm sure you can empathise with the poor buggers... there's nothing worse than someone stopping mid-suck is there?? There's no satisfaction, and only frustration remains unless the job is finished! ;-) Ha!) My legs still look like the elephant man, due to too many bites (and my insistance on wearing shorts in Alaska), but i'm getting better at catching them!

Also did a spot of souvenir hunting, which was pretty cool. Only got souvenirs from places that have touched me - aka NOLA and Alaska (although i wanted stuff from Vegas and Hollywood, but i guess memories will have to do!).

Finished off my day by stopping at this VERY Pulp Fiction looking diner (we actually saw the real diner from the film in the 'wood, but despite Sarah and I's desire to get in there, we never had the time). I wouldn't even mention this fact except that they even had 'Five Dollar Shakes' on the menu. If you're a fan of the film, that should be ringing bells! I, naturally, had to order one... and a quote only seems apt... i shall echo the words of Vincent Vega to Mia Wallace (John Travolta and Uma Thurman, respectively): ''That's a pretty ----ing good milkshake. I don't know if it's worth five dollars, but it's pretty ----ing good all the same!'' And it was. I had to get that quote in here haha.

What next pour moi?? Well, tomorrow i fly back down South to San Francisco - i'm beginning my journey East again, and back through the 5 timezones that exist in the US! On this 'leg' of my tour i'll be hitting San Fran, Yellowstone National Park (can't wait!), Salt Lake City, Chicago and finally, New York! Sounds pretty sweet... made even more tasty by the fact that this only involves TWO more Greyhounds, though both are beasts - each well over 20 hours! Best charge up that i-pod then right??

Oh, and for those concerned about my rear (and let's face it - every girl under 30 is!), it's feeling fine again after being pounded by my bike.

Right, time for a shower! Then off to bed with me! I'm knackered, and my feet would appreciate the rest before my loooong day tomorrow. I'll drop y'all a line in a couple of days before i embark on my journey to Yellowstone.

Speak soon y'all. Much love.

Aaron! x

At The End of August... in Alaska!

2008-08-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Wow!!

Let me say that again...

Wow!!

That's how i can describe Alaska. It's such a beautiful place, and i've seen some amazing sights during the past few weeks, but there've been two instances today that have left me in total awe... but why should i tell you about that now!? I'll delay it and recap on what went before... because i'm nice like that, and love building suspense!!

So, i left you in LA at the whackiest hostel in the world with the craziest owner in the entire world! ''Yes Sir!!'' he'd constantly say. A bit of a legend, if not a little bit nuts. I got out of the hostel at stupid o'clock in the morning to rock it down to the Greyhound to catch my 5am bus to San Francisco. Journey was standard - a very short 8 hour trip (that really is NOTHING compared to what i've been doing!) Also rolled over the Golden Gate Bridge and saw Alkatraz on my way over - a little glimpse into what's coming next (i'm stopping in SF for 2 nights upon my return from Alaska).

Then decided to get to the airport a whole 4 hours early - i had to pay $15 to check my luggage in!! Un-bloody-believable!! Not like home is it?! Anyway, i caught my flight yadda yadda yadda. No sign of joining the mile-high club (still glad i refrained on the way back from Tenerife with the air-hostess who was chatting me up - and folks who didn't come to Tenerife with me... well, you can believe she was stunning, as you know no different! Ha!), despite my best pre-flight chatting skills with a group of girls. At least they were cool to chat to!

Rocked up at my hostel at a little past 1am, after crossing ANOTHER timezone, and crashed out in my dorm with some other dude who was yet again molesting a pig (what's with the beastiality over here?!). I was so close to giving him a broken glass colonic it's not even funny. I'd have jammed it so far up he'd have not dared to even pass the slightest bit of wind incase it ruptured his colon... seriously... i can't stand snoring!!

ANYWAY (don't worry, i'm finally going to say something useful), today i got my first taste of Alaska. Literally. Where else can you wake up and have reindeer for breakfast?? Sorry kids, but Santa's not coming this Christmas as i'm too busy munching on rudolph's leg. Mind you... do those reindeer NEED legs?? They fly, so technically they don't need to walk. Perhaps 'Rudolph the Parapalegic, Red Nose Reindeer' is the way to go, though i think those extra words would bugger up all those Christmas songs a bit wouldn't they!? And lots of kids would probably cry... but it IS PC that the reindeer encompass those with disabilities! Ha!

I woke up early and hired myself a bike and set out about Alaska. I can't tell you how good it feels to do some strenuous exercise again. My ass feels like i've been at a pool party with Michael Barrymore because the saddle was intent on sodomising me (this is despite my protestations in an earlier blog entry about sodomy... i still got it... it always gets you sometime, regrettably). Anyway, after getting lost for an hour in Alaska (it had to happen) i finally hit the coastal trail and came across my first 'wow' moment - across a giant still lake you could see the snow-capped mountains rising on the other side, so the lake acted like a giant mirror. Words cannot describe how tranquil and beautiful this moment was. It left me on a bit of a high for sure!

Spent the remainder of the day in Anchorage town (about a 5 mile bikeride away, though i did 10 miles after going completely the WRONG way), which was awesome. Just taking in the atmosphere and eating local stuff - it's so good to eat GOOD food (in this case, fresh halibut from the bay) as opposed to the crap that i've been eating the past 48 hours due to travelling non-stop.

Just this minute got back from my bike ride, and let me just say that the journey back was eventful... not just because my rear felt totally abused, but because i almost rode my bike RIGHT into a moose. Yes, a MOOSE!! I was too busy concentrating on my rectal pain, so when i looked up i saw this huge moose staring at me!! WOW!! Had it been a bear i'd have soiled myself with excitement and fear... but instead it was just excitement (it was a female - so she wouldn't kick my ass!). It's one of those moments where words cannot do the moment justice. Tomorrow i'm off to Seward to go whale-watching - god i hope i have a similar encounter!! I would be out to see wild grizzlies, but it's $500 to do it, which despite the exchange rate, i can't justify to myself, especially when i've got Yellowstone National Park in just over a week, which'll be bear-country too. Hopefully it'll be cheaper there!!

Also, gotta pass comment on the weather - simply because it's unlike what i've been enduring previously! Vegas was hotter than Satan's armpit in the middle of summer, but Alaska is just like home: wet and cool. Sweet! As ever, i think it's apt for me to comment on the women of Alaska too, as i've seemingly (unknowingly) been commenting on them in every state... hell, i'm a red-blooded guy - i have to comment don't i?? Simply, they're awesome too. Except for the 6'5'' Amazonian beasts i occasionally see - they're blatently wood cutters ha! Lots of 'scene' girls (some of you know what that means, some don't, but should you know what it means, you probably know that i have a bit of a niche for them... and daaaaaayyyyymmmmnnn are they hot (god, why have i picked up that goddam drawly expression from Vegas?! WHY?!)), so that's pretty cool!

So, what else is there to report?? Probably very little, and simultaneously loads. I always have brainwaves about what i've forgotten after i fill a blog up. And boy do i fill em!! More than that black dude at Muscle Beach filled those speedos!

I can definitely say that this whole experience has really made an impact on me - i've seen things i'd always dreamt about (not just Californian women) and done so many things... It's a bit gutting when i think that in a little over two weeks the dream'll be over - and i'll be back in the UK. I'm a little sad about that. Also sad to see Hannerz go, as we were dominating Vegas, and i really enjoyed having company - i extend this to Sarah, Sarah and Louise, should they be reading this too - it's been refreshing to hang with awesome, like-minded people, as opposed to the isolation that was Texas, and some of the crazed folks that inhabit the Southern Greyhounds!! Can definitely say that i've made some good mates here - David in NOLA (and Allan and Mike too) and my Hollywood buds... who knows what Alaska's going to bring... more laughs?? I hope so. More mates?? I really hope so too. I'm a social animal!!!

So... on that note, i'm going to leave y'all for now. Gonna get a good night's sleep tonight, as i'm up at 5.30am to get over to Seward to see the whales (i hope), and i won't be back 'til 10pm - so a loooong day ahead, but it should rule.

I might make another post and enrich your lives before i leave Alaska... but i might just wait until San Francisco on Tuesday. Guess you'll have to keep checking then right?? And commenting?? Ace, glad you agree.

Speak soon everyone, and as every - i love y'all!

Aaron! x

Viva Las Vegas!!

2008-08-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Daaaaayyyyyyymmmmmmnnnnnnn it's been a while y'all. Been mackin' like a true East Coast playa... or something...

Yes, it's been a while since i filled you in with the sordid tales of my conquests through the States, so it's about time i brought you upto speed isn't it?? Since my last post i have been joined by Hannerz, which is awesome... and i don't actually have to say that JUST because he's reading what i'm typing! Seriously, this past week in Hollywood and Vegas has been sensational.

Alas, i must confess something... and that's the fact that i've been unfaithful.

Unfaithful to New Orleans that is, as Cali has definitely captured my heart, as too has Vegas. Why? Well, there's innumerable reasons, but i'll try to recap them as succinctly as possible, as we're currently holed up in Little Korea in LA in one of the... most UNIQUE hostels i've ever had the pleasure to stay at. Hell, you can get driving lessons and medical treatment here. Damn, those yanks think of everything don't they?! So without further-a-due, let's recap...

I think i left you with the idea of me going to Venice Beach, which turned out to be ace, though i burnt myself beyond recognition, and my lips are STILL sore now (though that may be due to talking crap way too much). I went out there with my favourite 3 LA ladies (though none are actually from LA): Sarah, Louise and Sarah. Was a really awesome day, though i gotta say - Muscle Beach is a wee bit small! I did a few chin-ups (standard) to prove my worth, but it was unbelievably small... a comment that cannot be made about the 'undercarriage' of a certain black male bodybuilder who strutted around the beach in the tiniest speedos emblazened with the US flag... not a pleasant image, and one i care not to remember. I'll focus instead on the girls rollerblading. Much better.

That night was a quiet one, where me and the ladies just sat around in the library (damn we rule) chatting about everything we could muster. Although some dude did pass the comment that 'Woah, that mac has enough ladies!' - yes, i really was the stud of Hollywood ha!

Emblazed with the sun's sensual touch (or burns to you and I), myself, the ladies, the newly-arrived Hannerz and Alex (sound dude in my dorm) rocked out into the Hollywood nightlife - where we hit the Sunset Strip, taking in places such as the Whiskey-A-Go-Go and the Viper Room (Johnny Depp's place). Now, although not LOADS of people were out that night, we were all outrageously wrecked! This culminated with Hannerz stripping down to his boxers in front of me, declaring 'I'm pissed mate' and retiring to his room. Legend! But BEFORE all that... well, i think i can remember everything... including heckling the piss-poor comedians at our hostel. I finally responded to Sarah's request to heckle by shutting down the head act's joke mid-flow because i knew the punchline. I got some laughs - decidedly MORE than he was getting. Neither Hannerz or I can remember QUITE how we got so wrecked, but we know it was an amazing night... let's just say that i also did my best to re-enact the exciting world of Cluedo in my own Aaron-esque fashion - it was in the library... but what with?? Most of you won't have a sweet clue what i'm going on about... gutted! ;-)

Skip a day, and we hit Bel Air... well, all but one of the Sarah's who couldn't move due to the outrageously awesome preceding evening. Bel Air was pretty cool, though you couldn't see loads. Our guide - Jimmy - was an absolute LEGEND!! Made me piss myself on several occasions, especially when 'laying the groundwork' with a Croat girl. I wonder if he succeeded in his conquest... hell, who knows! We've also acquired the word 'mac' from that tour - it's a word we're going to break into the English language on our return.... you read it here first!

That night was AGAIN party time (you'll notice a theme here!), this time by mode of a limo with the most annoying French person in the world!! Seriously, you've not met a dude who wants to crowdsurf down the inside of a limo like him... what a complete knob! And people wonder why we don't get along with the French... their lack of ability to shave, their non-compliance with speaking English like every other non-English nation in the world and their poncy lack-of-substance breakfasts... and now crowdsurfing pricks. What a country!

Post-limo we hit what can only be described as... a 'unique' night, that received mixed reviews from the critics in attendance. We headed out to see a band called the Steel Panthers - an 80's glam-metal band ala Motley Crue and Poison, who i thought were pretty damn good - a good mix of covers that you can't help but know the words to! Like i say, it received mixed reviews, but i got my taste of the sleaze that the Sunset Strip can provide... so that was pretty awesome. It may not have been true 80's debauchery, but it was good all the same!!

NOW we finally get onto describing Vegas. I want to be succinct here, but let's face it, i'm lame at being succinct, but brilliant and being smutty, so be prepared to read DEEP into this paragraph or two (though to be fair, you should have done that earlier on too...)

Vegas. How can i describe it?? 'Incredible' is what Hannerz has just said, and i can't disagree at all. It totally lived upto what i was expecting - neon, gambling and ridiculous levels of heat. A winning combo!! Now, the question on everyone's lips - did Aaron win money?? No. No is the answer to that. Unless you could the 2 cents that i won last night on a penny slot machine. I'm clearly blessed with luck. Hannerz DID win though, a lovely sum of $140 whilst playing poker - $40 of which is actually MY chips, but i'll let him have it... he mercked me, but rather him than some of the other chumps at the table! We decided to stay in a Casino - Circus Circus, which was pretty cool, and way better than stab-central which is where we would otherwise have been staying. Bit like London, but hotter!

But let's get onto the interesting day shall we?? Yesterday. We planned to browse the Strip and weigh up where to play poker later on that night. But like all best-laid plans... we failed. After diving into a bar for some thirst-quenching beer we were challenged to a game of 'beer-pong' - a game i'd heard about but never seen or played. But who were we challenged by?? Why, it was a group of girls from North California. Result right?? We didn't even need to put in any effort - we're just that mack, yo. Basically the game is throwing ping pong balls into pints of beer and drinking it (it's better in real life, i swear). What it's NOT about is putting the ping-pong balls in your mouth and being a bit of an idiot. American girls clearly don't find that thing appropriate, though i disagree, as we found it humourous, even if they didn't. One girl in particular seemed particularly disgusted by my antics... hell, i'm surprised it took her 30 minutes. Slow or what?!

After a lengthy duel, we drank with them and headed off to Circus Circus for some rest, because we were meant to meet back up with them. Signs were apparent that another game of Cluedo was afoot for our intrepid adventurers... so we went to their place and knocked... and knocked... and knocked... gutted. No-one answered, but we DID hear a couple making WILD passionate love next door... by 'making love' i mean 'making love for a fee'... yeaaaaa, hooker-ville USA baby! After being amused by the hanky panky we pounded the door one last time, and finally the girls answered... it was on like donkey kong!!

We hit some SWANKY clubs, that myself and Hannerz felt particularly out of place at! Everyone seemed so beautiful and awesome, and then there was us in our worn clothes, smelling a little (of awesomeness, naturally!), but we were accompanied by immaculately dressed girls, so all was well. I'll skip the middle bit and get onto the interesting stuff... Maverick and Goose came back, yes Top Gun II was being enacted! For those not in the know - look up 'wingmanning' on Google, you'll get the hint. I was Goose this time, and let James 'Maverz' Hanley take home the prize... though to be fair, i think i deserve a medal of bravery, or at least some suitable accolade for undertaking not 1, not 2, but THREE girls for the remainder of the night!! Now that may sound friggin' awesome right?? Right?? THREE girls and me?! Surely a dream?! Well, it would be... should this dream in fact be a nightmare involving constantly being reminded of feet aching, and calls of 'daaaaayyyyyyyymmmmmmn' (damn to you and me) and various other things. All in all, i got into my Casino at 4.30am - after accompanying all the girls back home. So what do you do at 4.30am in Vegas?? Why, you play poker ofcourse!! I sat down, and again proceeded to lose money. Christ i'm awesome.

Quote of Vegas: said by a dude in an elevator when myself and Hannerz were discussing buying tickets and leaving them with the girls...

''I like big cars and small women, but i always seem to end up inside big women and small cars'' - it wasn't even relevant to what we were talking about, but DAMN was it funny!! This, along with tales told by my room-mates in the 'wood has kept me and Hannerz laughing all the way to LA, which is where we're currently holed up!

SO... where to now for our intrepid adventurers?? Well, 'High-Rollin Hannerz' aka 'Mavverz' is flying back home as he's skint, and i'll be in Anchorage (ALAKSA) exactly 24 hours from now!! Amazing!! Hopefully i'll be able to update you more in a couple of days, providing a) i'm not eaten by a bear and b) they've invented the internet up there... god bless their simple ways!!

So, i hope you've enjoyed this STUPIDLY long post, and i'll hook up with you all in Alaska.

Love you all,

Aaron! x
(& Hannerz)

Hollywood Squares

2008-08-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well hello!!

It's been a while hasn't it?? And to be fair, there's good reason for it - i've been too damn busy having too much of a good time! So that's no bad thing is it?? I'm also glad to report that i'm no longer a crazed, lone leper and that my health has now returned (thank God!). I'm now over in Hollywood too - so that's pretty awesome... but, as is usual... yep, you guessed it - let's go over what's happened since i last blessed you all with my correspondence!

Well, as you know - i was in cloudy San Diego, suffering with the mystery disease that i'll call 'X' - which really took it out of me. I FINALLY got to bed after that long day, and crashed out... only to be awoken by my room mates returning from the pub crawl that i couldn't get to. That's fine. I don't mind that. What i DO mind is that one of them sounded like he was molesting a pig in his sleep - all manner of grunting and groaning coming from his bunk. Sex is what you may be thinking, but i can assure you that wasn't the case... (i wouldn't be that bothered by that - at least it's for a good cause!)... no, the guy was apparently 'sleeping' and snoring his face off. If there's one thing i can't stand during sleep is people committing the cardinal sin of SNORING. I had earplugs, but while running a fever it felt nigh on like my head was going to explode. Aaron was not impressed.

Anyway, the next day i hit the world famouse San Diego Zoo, and it was SO worth it. As many of you will know, i normally get a bit upset at zoo's because of how moronic people treat the animals and bang on the glass etc. Ok, so the USA is no different, and indeed the people are bigger morons (in many cases), but the zoo was formidable. They housed polar bears, grizzlies, brown bears, pandas, koalas (a shitload of bears now i think about it...) along with a host of other cool beasts. Took a wild amount of photos and had an awesome day. Although the guided bus tour that i took consisted of me cringing EVERY time we got near an exhibit as this little yankee kid behind me kept declaring that everything was 'keeeyyyy-ute' - not 'cute', but 'keeeyyyy-ute' - i had a good mind to pick him up and throw him into the bear pit and just yelling 'how cute are they now sunshine eh?!' - but i didn't... much to his fortune, although i'm pretty sure his mum might have been a bit disapppointed in me... but i would have been doing the world a favour, so it was for the greater good!

Also ventured into Little Italy which was pretty cool, though it did smell quite badly of tramp's piss, but the food was sublime and MUCH needed, as the fever demanded that i eat some salad... again, no idea why i wanted it, but it tasted GOOD. I tell you what i'm missing while over here... actually, guess... family? friends? yes, both for sure, but the REAL loss i'm feeling at the moment is exercise! I just want to go running or do some weights. Can't wait to get home and work out. Tragic i know, but so so true.

Anyway, let's skip ahead. I left San Diego, and travelled back North to Hollywood, California. I absolutely love it here. First arrived at my hostel (which is on the walk of fame) and my room was empty, which was a bit disappointing, as i've been craving company for ages now (read into the word 'company' as deep as you can and you'll get the secondary meaning behind the word... yea, you've got it ;-) ). Luckily i met two awesome girls on the way into the hostel from the UK (both called Sarah) and struck up a friendship with them and their room mate Louise - so i've been spending the vast majority of my time with them, as well as Alex - the sole English dude in my dorm - the rest are crazy, unconventional Chinese folks who don't have fun and tap on their laptops til 1am - damn, i'm envious of them!

First night here, i rocked out on the pub crawl that i'd been dying to go on, and had an amazingly fun night - the booze mixed nicely with the ibuprofen and made the night go by quite speedily. Gotta say though - the bouncers over here need a good lesson in manners. The second bar we got to they wouldn't let me in, as i wasn't a girl... i mean, sorry, but WHAT?! Then he let a guy in from behind me and i asked why and he retorts with 'is he your boyfriend or something?' - i don't think my sharp reply of 'you're the one with the gay looking earring mate' would have gone down well, and would have earned me a kicking, so i didn't. I think it's so bizarre - the guys are pure sleaze. Anyway, it didn't ruin my night, and i had MASSIVE amounts of fun. Again, i'll not go into too much depth as this blog isn't intended to recap every last filthy, gritty, grimy detail - though i'm sure you're all keen to learn them...

Skip ANOTHER day and i hit all the tourist places including the Chinese Theater, Walk of Fame, Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills etc. - been there and done that! Quite a quiet night last night, though me and the guys and gals just sat around and shot the breeze til the early hours. Good times. Today i'm planning to head off to Venice Beach for a good few hours, and when i return Hannerz (my mate from Uni for those of you not in the know) will be at the hostel, so i'll be bringing him out to the Sunset Strip tonight for a HUGE lash session, which may consist of me making a tit out of myself, talking rubbish and being a bit amorous but BOY will i have fun doing it all!! Tomorrow is going to be a write off, for sure.

After Hollywood, Hannerz and I move onto Las Vegas, where i'm going to have to play a bit of poker, as i love the game... but i'm not going to gamble too much... i'll just put Hannerz in as my raise - most things seem legal in Vegas, so slavery shouldn't be an issue for them.

Right, this has been a HUGE update, and i can hear some gorgeous surfer girls calling me from Venice Beach, so i best head out there and grace them with my presence. Time to steep on the English charm and see where it gets me. Nowhere is the realistic answer, but the sky's the limit... after all, i'm in LA baby. Anything's possible.

Speak soon y'all

Aaron! x

Clouds Over California

2008-08-13T15:28:00.000-07:00

Heya!!

Well, i've finally made it! I've reached California and the Pacific Ocean after a loooooong bus jounrey from El Paso, which totalled just under 1000 miles. Lovely fun!! Hardly got a wink of sleep as it was so uncomfy, but i made it goddamn it! My health seemed to stand upto the onslaught too, though it then decided to totally crash when i pulled into San Diego - cue me currently being dosed up on pills from the pharmacy to keep me with a modocum of life in me!

There's very little to recap really, as yesterday purely was made up of sitting on a bus. Though I did cover two entire states (New Mexico and Arizona), so at least i had something to look at. Managed to watch a thunder storm in the Arizona desert in the night, which was amazingly beautiful to watch - you could see the forks hitting all around. Hell, it's a long way away from the days when i used to be TERRIFIED of those forks of light hitting the ground back when i was a kid! Was pretty cool last night though. Also, the landscape FINALLY changed into pure desert with cacti everywhere. Weirdly i didn't see ONE cactus in Texas... it's a lie that they're everywhere, a lie i tells ya!!

Had an... interesting... lady sit near me on the bus from LA to San Diego - she kept talking to me about the Royal family - now i'm no anti-Royalist, but i'm not entirely clued up on every in and out. She seemed to think that a) i was from London, and b) that i knew all of the Windsors - as she seemed to think that most Britons have met them!! She's living in cuckoo land. Also kept talking about Diana... she's hardly living in the present, as i'm sure that she passed away over a decade ago now. She kept referring to her in the present tense... cue me putting my headphones on and feigning to be asleep... God, i wish i HAD slept, i wouldn't be feeling like this now!!

So, how's San Diego?? Cloudy! The temperature's about 18oC i'd guess - so about UK temperatures, which is lovely considering that i'm not feeling too well and the fact that i've been putting up with 40+ for the past week in Texas, Tennessee and Louisiana! Just had a stroll down to the Bay and stared out over the Pacific, which was pretty cool.

Not really planning much tonight - there's a pub crawl, but i'm absolutely battered from lack of sleep, so think i'll be giving me a miss which is really lame. Best to keep my alertness for Hollywood though - hopefully i'll be back to all guns blazing by then!! Just gotta keep pumping those pills.

Just realised that this post has very little 'meat' to it, and no inuendo's - damn, you can tell i'm not buzzing today can't you?! Too tired to be clever. Off to the zoo tomorrow to stroll around and see what's touted to be one of the best zoos in the world, so that should be ace, then just a tiny 3 hour journey to Hollywood on Friday - god that seems like NO time at all after what i've been enduring recently. Thank God that that's the last of my loooong journey's for a little while now!

Anyway, i'm babbling - i'll write a REAL update from Hollywood when i'll be back on form ;-)

Aaron! x

South of The Border... Down Mexico Way...

2008-08-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

Heya folks!!

Currently holed up at the Gardner Hostel in El Paso, Texas!! (Little bit of trivia - John Dillinger (look him up), stayed here when he was running away from the FBI for his spree of bank robberies!). It's a big ol' place and my corridor makes me think of The Shining with a hint of Exorcist - it's dark and LONG with loads of doors. Creepy as hell!

Anyway, this is where i'd normally tell you about what went before... but this time... i've been a bit ill so i've had to slow my pace a little. I did have a second day in Fort Worth, but did VERY little, which is no great shame as i'd exhausted everything there is to do there on day one anyway! So as i say - no great loss. After that I had a 12 hour drive across Texas - about 650 miles covered... lovely. The drive was fine, though the 'scenery' didn't amount to much at all! Texas really is nothing but desert and scrub - it looks like the Yorkshire Moors... but hotter... WAY hotter at about 40oC. Some mountains finally appeared, which broke up the monotony! Also passed through Odessa... which i only know because of Heroes. Now, i'm not calling the show fictitious (because it's clearly based on reality), but i didn't see Clare 'The Cheerleader' Bennett jumping off buildings or healing herself... mind you, they moved away didn't they at the end of series 1?? That'll be it... ofcourse. On a serious note though - Odessa has NOTHING there. A bit like most of Texas (!).

Regardless, I rocked into El Paso at about 8pm yesterday to be told by some Mexican security guard that my bag didn't belong to me... so i promptly whipped it out and slung it in her face, waggling it around a bit in my hand, she copped an eyeful and finally relinquished my bag... oh, i'm referring to my passport, obviously - what else could i mean!? Anyway, after that came a walk through a pitch black city to find my hostel, cue thoughts of 'oh shit'. El Paso has about 10 street lights, so i had little to no chance!! Luckily i knew kinda where i was going and sauntered into the hostel ok - but it was a bit worrying. Hell, i'd have took a taxi for the 10 blocks, but there weren't any!! Odd!!

Skip to today, and the reason i came to El Paso - to walk into Mexico! El Paso borders with a city known as Juarez, which is about 3 times the size of El Paso, and is renowned for all things 'fruity', a bit like Tijuana! I paid my 25c and walked over the bridge... and i've gotta say, the Rio Grande really ain't that grand at all!! It's a glorified canal - i'm pretty sure you could easily be shot to death in it, and i'm sure it looks better elsewhere, but at Juarez it looks rubbish - no wonder the coyotes (smugglers) can make such a trade over it!! It looked ankle deep! Though i've gotta say - the Federali's (Mexican border police) walk around with huge assault rifles - i wouldn't wanna mess them around!

Juarez itself... how would i describe it?? I'd say it's an unhealthy mix of Blackpool, Baghdad and Amsterdam. Why? Blackpool = loads of tack on sale, and neon signs aplenty to cater to the tourists. Baghdad = the place is RUN DOWN, much worse than the US cities i've seen (and i've seen some crap!), and infinitely worse than the most run down place you've seen in England, Spain, France etc.! And finally - Amsterdam = the sex trade. I'd been on Mexican soil for about 3 minutes when i was offered trips to the 'titty bar' and offered every type of sexual pleasuring you could possibly scrape from the fetid depths of your mind (prostitution is LEGAL in Mexico..) Fortunately, sex tourism wasn't on my list of 'to-do's' in Mexico, so i just shook my head and moved on... though i was propositioned about 20 times in an hour... just crazy! Also got offered a whole bag full of white powder... which again was kinda scary! I've not been offered drugs and sex this much since Ibiza, where a man on every street corner was asking for a Mr. 'Charlie Pills'... now i never met the guy in my stay, but he SURE is popular - everyone knows his name and seems top be asking for him. Bet he gets all the attention in clubs!

Anyway...

Unfortunately, me being ill has resulted in me being unable to eat much above 'liquid' levels, so i couldn't sample any food, but is smelt good. Gotta say though - the markets weren't what i was expecting... if you want bootlegged copies of The Dark Knight or Hancock, then by all means visit Juarez, or maybe you want to buy hip-hop CD's, or even get knocked off clothes and belts? Sure, come here. But i wanted AUTHENTIC Mexican wears - which i had to search SO deeply for, but found the knick-knack shops where i could get my blanket. Hurrah!! Aimee, i REALLY could have done with you about, as i understood NOTHING in Mexico - i might as well have been deaf. How dare they speak Spanish in their own country! Though to be fair, a lot of people in Texas refuse to speak English... much to the annoyance of the homegrown Texans so i found!

So now i'm back in El Paso - gotta say, it's not a happening place at all. It seems to be here purely because of Mexico meeting it head on. No worries though, as i jog on tomorrow towards the Pacific Coast to a little known town called San Diego in a small state called California. I honestly can't wait: San Diego, Hollywood, Vegas, San Fran - they all await me in the next 2 weeks! Brilliant!

So i'm gonna sign off now, and hopefully the 20 hour journey tomorrow won't be made worse by my health! Hopefully i'll be all healthy again, and ready to kick California's ass! Hell, there's no question there - i WILL kick California's ass... right after i've finished checkin' it out, drooled a little and tried to make a move on her...!

Love y'all

Aaron! x

I Wanna Be A Cowboy Baby...

2008-08-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

Howdy y'all!! Ah'm in good ol' Texas - workin mah way West teewards El Paso and Californee. Ok, i'll stop writing like that as i can barely understand it and i wrote the damn thing!! Yes, i'm in Texas - Fort Worth to be exact. It's reaaaally hot, but really cool (in the non-temperature way) too. But, as usual - let's skip back to what happened since i last posted!!

God, it seems ages ago now - but I was in Memphis two days ago. Straight after writing the last blog i headed out to Graceland to see Mr Presley's home. Have to say - it's smaller than you'd imagine! Some of the rooms are straight up weird (one room has a waterfall), but overall it's a smart pad - and you can't grasp how many gold and platinum records this guy has. Rooms and rooms and ROOMS were STUFFED with the things! I didn't realise just how many Elvis songs i actually know!! Also managed to (strangely) bump into two girls... from Nuneaton... that's definitely the most surreal thing so far. One swears she knows me... i'm preeetty sure i don't!! But anyway! Also met up with David again and his bro, which was totally awesome. Though i had to catch a stupidly early bus the next day we went out for a beer and some munch which was really cool. Pity there were no parties in town for us to tear it up at though! Oh, and I finally got to eat my froggy feast. Tasted... unique.

So, here's to today's first random tangent... the taste of food. Troy, Rach and Dani brought it up in a comment on the last blog (by the way... more of you should comment!! Both there AND Facebook - i like the attention ;-) - seriously though, it keeps me sane!)...

Basically, you can TASTE evolution. Sorry to go all sciencey, but you can. Ok, fish tastes like fish... from that evolved amphibians (e.g. frog), which tastes like a fishy chicken - a UNIQUE taste!... from those evolved reptiles (e.g. alligator), which tastes like a game-y chicken... from those evolved birds (e.g. chicken), which tastes like chicken (oddly enough). So yea... you can taste evolution. And yes, the 10 hour journey here was a slow one to make me wonder that!

And onwards with my travel tale - Texas!! After the bus broke down in 'Rednecks-ville' in Arkansas, i finally made it here, and have spent today at the Stockyards (where they keep cattle - aka real wild west). I've seen cattle drives, REAL cowboys, REAL indians and a rodeo (which included bullriding and bulldogging) = amazing!! Also overwhelmed at the hospitality of Texans - they really are the kindest folks!! I sat around and had some woman start talking to me, she offered to buy me a beer (i thought nothing of it), which i refused... then another guy approaches and starts telling me some stories, so she leaves - and he laughs... yes, she was actually trying to chat me up (actually, now i think about it - she took a photo of me on her phone...) - but before any of you guys start laughing at me, she wasn't my type... at all... in no way... capiche?? Good ;-)

THEN when he leaves another couple sit down and buy me a couple of beers and we just shoot the breeze and chat for an hour or so. Such nice folks!! The taxi driver just drove me totally the wrong way, so charged me what i wanted to pay!! Total legend!! He was an awesome dude too.

Again - too many stories to tell, so some will have to wait. But the next stop for me will be El Paso (Texas), which is on the Mexican border, so i'll be walking over the border to Juarez. Been warned by EVERYONE and their dog to be back before nightfall or i may end up a sex slave somewhere exotic... actually, that doesn't sound too bad... all the S's: Sun, Sea, Sex... though Sodomy isn't my thing, so i'll pass!!

Hope you're all well back home folks - remember to comment on my blog and 'book me!!

Aaron! x

You Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog...

2008-08-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

... cryin' all the time!!

Well, if you haven't guessed the lyric, it's by Elvis AARON Presley, so that must mean i'm one place - Memphis baby!! But as usual, before i rant on about Tennessee, i'll recap my exploits in New Orleans... which has been the first place i'll genuinely miss on this trip!

Words can't explain how awesome it's been in NOLA - just everything about it i love! From the accents (which you already know about ha!) to the food, to the sights and sounds... it's just amazing. After i last left you i took a jaunt to the swamps and bayou's of Louisiana and boy-howdy they were a sight to see! I even managed to stroke a 12 foot alligator. All in all, i saw about 6 gators - ranging from a baby to the 12 foot monster called Brutus. The swamps themselves were a sight to see too - just how still and quiet they were, along with all the wildlife - egrets (heron-like birds), gators, bullfrogs (huge things!) and spiders... the latter were enormous - definitely something you wouldn't want in your hair. It'd clearly eat your head!

And let's move onto the food... i ate the following: Alligator (twice - it's like a gamey chicken), Catfish, Soft-shelled Crab (you eat EVERYTHING), Jambalaya (rice and meat) and Gumbo (a weird thick soup that's ultra spicy and ultra tasty!). I didn't get round to eating turtle, though i would have... same for the frog - my guide in the swamps was telling me how tasty they were - they span about 26 inches!! Christ!!

I don't know if it's made the news over there, but we got hit by a hurricane too - Hurricane Edouard. Luckily it didn't slam into NOLA like Katrina did (by the way - the devastation caused by Katrina is still evident in places - really saddening to see how much it levelled the beautiful city).

It did rain though... and when it rained... it RAINED. I'd packed a kagool with me, so put that on feeling smug, but that kagool was about as useful to me as a condom would be to the Pope. Actually, the Pope would get more use out of a condom - at least he could have worn it on his head to protect him from the rain... as a matter of fact i could have employed the same method of rain protection, though i would have looked a complete knob (in every sense of the word!)

It really saddened me to leave NOLA though - i really fell in love with the place, and i can swear to you that i'll be back one day. I'll bring some of you guys with me too, as it's simply too awesome to not come and enjoy. I'm thinking Mardi Gras time would be good... so we don't risk hurricanes! Though it adds to the fun... kinda...

So now here I am in Memphis! Another 10 hour coach journey over with, and i'm in the 'Mid-South', before heading West to Fort Worth in Texas (it's next to Dallas). It's a nice city from what i can gather. Though i had to change hotel, as my first one is apparently filled with skag and crackheads. Don't fancy that much. Also had ENDLESS people just talking at me again just to hear me speak - met a dude outside the Greyhound station (i forget his name, but know he was 22) and he thought it was the most amazing thing he's ever heard. He was sound. Also had a homeless guy called Reggie show me where to eat - i gave him a dollar. Was a good place too - up on Beale Street (which is where all the fun is!) - and i can now take back what i said earlier about our BBQ sauce being wrong - it seems out BBQ sauce is actually based on Tennessee BBQ, not Alabama. Though ours is still pretty tame in comparison (sorry Jay).

Well, that'll do for now - again i've missed out loads of info, but hey - if i put everything in here then i'd have nothing to tell you about when i'm home! I'm now off to Graceland, as everyone has told me i NEED to go there whilst in Memphis, so i will! Then tomorrow is another 10 hour journey into Texas - i'll quickly be working my way West towards El Paso and California!

Take care folks!

Aaron! x

Welcome to N'Orle'ns y'all...

2008-08-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

Let me just start by saying - THE QUEST FOR THE DEEEELIGHTFUL SOUTHERN ACCENT IS OVER!!! More on that later... ;-)

Well, yesterday i rocked up into New Orleans, Louisiana - the DEEP south!! But before i go into NOLA, let's recap on what's happened previously... damn, i sound like a news journalist!!

Well, Birmingham picked up after i last made a blog! I did the whole Civil Rights thing the next day - wandering around all the sights (incase you didn't know, Birmingham is where a HELL of a lot went down!) Randomly a black dude (called Dread) on a bike pulled over when i was in a park and walked me round the area, letting me know what was significant etc. It was awesome!! In return i fed him some info about England, which he thought sounded like a magical paradise because of no real racial prejudice (i know it exists, but i don't mix with those folks, so to me - there isn't any!).

And i've gotta talk about the food! The South is famous for it's cuisine - and i've had to start wolfing down some - fried chicken for a start... not like our crap... REAL fried chicken - very thin coating and basically a whole goddam chicken is fried!! Unbelievable. And that night i went out for some of 'Birmingham's faaaanest (finest) Ribs' - this was Americana bar to the MAX. I sat down in a place surrounded my number plates, with monster truck driving on the big screen and they serve ONLY ribs - no chips, no nothing - just ribs. And i tell you what - they were AMAZING. Also the BBQ sauce that we have in the UK is NOTHING like American BBQ sauce - we've got it all wrong it seems. I basically ate half a pig for 8 pounds. Awesome value.

Anyway, let's skip forward in time a little - to New Orleans, Louisiana!! Journey here was fine and dandy, though the woman i was sitting next two DID take up both seats, cue me being crushed against the window and (thankfully) the air-con unit!! She was a jolly old soul though, so all was well. I hear in the past few days there was a major incident on the Canadian Greyhound - a man went nuts on it. It's a rogue incident though, so no worries.

Back to New Orleans then... rocked up about 5 yesterday (11pm your time if you're in the UK) at the Lamothe House - and godDAM that's an amazing place to stay - it's like an upscale bordello - like you'd see in a film for a French house for the 'ladies of the night' - it's not a brothel ok, but it looks super fiiine. Huge 4 post beds, a POOL and SPA!! All for 30 pound a night... seriously, this country is CHEAP. Met up with a guy called Dave who's from Georgia (Eastern US) and got invited out on what was to be... a damn awesome night!!

It was a 'white linen' party where basically you had to wear something white - and cruise the art galleries (which had been turned into clubs) - it sounds very uptight and hoity-toity, but it wasn't!! Basically the WHOLE of central NOLA was turned into a party zone - streets shut off and everything!! Dave, myself and his buddy Mike sunk many a beverage and had some Jumbalaya (which is awesome) and cruised around until 3.30am this morning!

And to go back to how i opened this - i've found the perfect southern accent. WOW. Girls from Baton Rouge (south of here in Louisiana) have the PERFECT accent. It sounds like Forrest Gump style southern - lots of drawlin' but in a cute way. Also, the British accent goes MILES down here - hell, it might as well be the second coming of Christ - they're all so overwhelmed that i'm visiting. Amazing ice-breaker. Met LOADS of new folks last night - best night here so far for SURE.

Today i've been wandering NOLA and just visited the cemetary and Voodoo High Priestess (you know i love all the faith stuff - and hadn't encountered Voodoo before, so thought i might as well!) - really philosophical and well thought out. Nice lady, if a little eccentric and laughing WAY too much. But all good.

Here for another day, where i'll hopefully hit the swamps if i can find a place to book a tour! Then off to Memphis Tennessee, my last port of call in the deep south before i head West to Texas (yeeee-hawww) and California (.... they don't have a phrase...)

So i hope all's well in the UK!! I've a TON more stories to tell, but this has taken ages to type haha.

Love y'all

Aaron x

Sweet Home Alabama

2008-07-31T14:33:00.000-07:00

Well well folks - i'm now 1000 miles away from where i was when i last blessed y'all with a little Aaron-esque chatter!!

Since then soooo much has happened, and i only have 10 minutes to type it up so...

New York was awesome, and i made some awesome bud's in my room - namely Brooke from Oz (i spent all my time with her whilst in NY... fun times... i'll leave it at that haha), and Olof from Sweden - we hit NYC at night and had a few to drink, which was awesome. I ended up walking over 100 blocks that day by accident. I'm too cool it seems!! But the skyscrapers... wow... looking forward to re-arriving there again at the end of this trip!

Also had my first experiences with the ol' Greyhound, which i gotta say - isn't as bad as people have made out!! It's actually pretty comfy and 99% of the folks on it are sound as a pound too. Been on it twice so far - once from NYC to Washington DC, and from there to Birmingham, Alabama - where i currently am!!

DC was pretty cool too - i just went on a rampage taking photos of everything, as well as going out for a cheeky few with some folks from the hostel, which was ace. It's taken me over 20 hours (900 miles) to get to Birmingham, Alabama... and was it worth it?? Maybe... It's not that it's lame here, it's just that it's SUCH a departure from the North-East coast - there's no hustle and bustle, no liveliness - i love that chaos, and this place lacks it. What it DOES have is about 10,000 car dealerships and every random fast food joint in the world... including (to the best of my memory): Popeye's, Sonic, Mom & Pop's, Wanda's Waffles, Jack in the Box, Wendy's, Pizza Inn... etc etc. Hell, i thought that Sam L. Jackson was making up those names in the opening scenes of Pulp Fiction, but it turns out not!! Though i haven't seen a Big-Kahoona-Burger ('that Hawaiian joint up on 3rd') - again that's a reference that'll be lost on too many of you!!

Oh, and while i remember - i'm living the Forrest Gump dream - i'm slowly re-enacting that movie!! In DC i went to the huge spike thing (which i referred to as 'The Spike' to every local, which may have horrified them as it's 'The Washington Monument', but they'll get over it!), just as Forrest does in the movie... but alas there was no Jenny to come running out to me. And now i'm in Alabama... though i don't quite fancy running like Forrest as it's easily 28oC plus!! I'll soon be down on the bayou (swamp to me and you), come 3 days time!

Speaking of ladies... i came to the south thinking it'd be overrun with Southern Belle's. I loooove that southern accent on a lady - it's the draawwwlll, but none have been under the age of 30 in Alabama... i still have hopes for New Orleans, Memphis and Texas, which will be my next three stops!

On another vaguely-linking paragraph - my accent seems to get me quite a bit of attention!! On the VERY first night there were two Canadian girls sharing the room with me, Olof and Brooke, and they just sat there looking blankly at me - which i thought was peculiar, but figured it was down to my awesome good looks (joke haha)... but one then piped up 'i love listening to you speak', which was all well and good... and then was followed by 'you sound like that guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall'. That's a film by the way, and that 'guy' is in fact Russell Brand. Now, forgetting how much i think the guy is a total legend, i sound nothing like him - i sound neither cockney nor Dickensian! I took it as a complement though. It's amazing how many US folks think i'm from London... or Australia... weird.

Anyway... i've just about fit everything in. I'll be back in touch when i hit NOLA (New Orleans, Louisiana), which'll be around the end of the week. I want every day to last forever (except bus days), but also can't wait for what lies ahead... Vegas, Cali, Texas, ALASKA etc... exciting times!! And Hannerz mate - you best be ready - i'll be walking the walk and talking the talk by time we hit Cali and Vegas!!

Hope you're all well folks!

Aaron! x

New York, New Yoooork!!

2008-07-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well, well, it's finally started!! I'm currently sitting 10 stories up looking over Manhattan and Central Park - it's absolutely stifling here!! Heat is WAY worse than England at the minute, but it's so... SO worth it!!

Despite being absolutely exhausted (i'm gonna be up for over 24 hours before i get some shut eye), it's already been mindblowing, and i've only been here a matter of hours!! Hell, already i've seen the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan and been driven at breakneck speeds along the interstates from the airport. Seriously, every movie you've seen - it's just like it - not just the views, but the goddam taxi drivers!! Right up each others' arses, flipping each other off and turning rapidfire.

To go a bit geeky - it's just like GTA4 for those who've had a dabble on that ol' game. Everything is a carbon copy... i'm just expecting some random Russian to appear and go 'Hey Niko, my cousin' - all this despite my name clearly being Aaron, and me not being his cousin! To everyone else who's never played that game, i apologise for this paragraph... as it'll make little to no sense!

Anyway, enough waffle - my time in NYC is fleeting so i'm gonna pop down Broadway to Time Square to chill out for a bit. I'm off to Washington DC tomorrow, followed by Birmingham (Alabama) following my first overnight foray with the Greyhound buses... i'll let you know how they are! I'll be back in NYC on September 5th though, so there'll be more time here then!

All the best folks - i'll be in touch when i'm down in the deep South!

Aaron! x

The Prologue

2008-07-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this a bit early, but it's purely out of excitement for the loooooong road ahead!! In a little over two weeks I'll be in the US of A, rockin' it up with cowboys (and girls - naturally!), rednecks, yuppies, hillbillies, mounties, desperado's, Yogi the Bear and a whole host of others!

By the time you're reading this there'll probably be another post going "New York is awwwesome!!!" or somesuch. The route I've got planned at the minute should see me taking in a range of cities including... New York City (NY), Austin (TX) and Los Angeles (CA) to name but three, but i SHOULD also be getting into Mexico, Alaska and Canada; so i'm covering a LOT of ground in my trusty Greyhound bus! Rockin'!

So stop reading this, and read a more recent post to find out what i'm upto somewhere in the States! I'll try and update this reeeeal regularly so you can all have a read of my conquests and adventures.

All the best folks!

Aaron x